LEBANESE

Dorothy Snarker: If Finn never existed, this is how Glee would have gone:

Rachel and a rag-tag group of losers and gays band together to sing elaborate show tunes and discuss Barbra Streisand. Rachel and the other losers help the gays come out in a respectful manner while embracing their individuality. The gays help Rachel stop dressing like the bait girl from To Catch a Predator. Rachel realizes the hot head cheerleader is hot.

Nobody sees Jesus on a grilled cheese sandwich. No one outs anyone before she is ready. No one threatens a girl in a wheelchair. No one proposes to a girl whose and thereby tempers her dreams which were always bigger than a town named after a unliked bean.

And they still win nationals because now at least everyone in Glee Club can dance.

Stick to the basketball team, Finn. Far, far away from the dance floor.

THE END.

We see the Glee Club kids graduate and flip the tassels on their caps, one by one; Blaine hands a tearful Kurt a tissue as he heads for the stage, and Santana hugs Brittany as she does the same. Sue and Will also hug, which is cute, and then Finn and Rachel kiss on stage in front of everyone, which is totally in character, since if they don’t suck face at least ten times per episode the planet stops spinning on its axis and plummets in a deadly decaying spiral toward the sun.